Robocop (2013)

This one came out awhile
back but now you can pick it up on DVD or BLU RAY so I did just that. The
premise in this one is pretty simple. There is a big corporation that wants to
have robots take over policing in foreign nations and in America to save lives.
The new robot police are supposed to be able to tell who is who and determine
combatants from non-threat’s but we all know how that works out in movies.
At some point Omnicorp
decides, screw it, we are just going to find a human to make into a robot-cop,
queue the candidates and we wind up with Alex Murphy. So far, so good right?
Yes. Then disaster strikes. Where we used to have really great bad guys that
you couldn’t wait to see taken down, we have Michael Keaton who we kinda don’t
really care about. Yes, he is jerk and probably deserves to die but that is the
central problem here. We don’t care, we don’t care about Murphy who is at the
very least un-likable, we don’t think the villains are worth needing a ROBOCOP
to kill, we don’t care about Samuel L Jackson because his talent is wasted as
filler by making him a talk show host. Yeah, this thing is just a flat
un-inspired disaster once it gets going. Even the parts I did like never really
pull the emotional or action strings they need to. The only really decent
performance in this comes from Gary Oldman and even great talents like Jackie
Earle Haley (who’s played Rorschach and Freddy Kruger over the years) and Abbie
Cornish (Suckerpunch) are under used.
I am actually sighing
right now while writing this because I so badly wanted this to be decent. It’s
not and that may be because I am comparing it to an over the top original that
captured the gritty side of heroes in a way that we hadn’t seen before.
Unfortunately this time around, there is nothing new, nothing connecting and
very little worth your time. Even a really solid villain would have helped.
I give this one a 3 out
of 7. RATING DEFINITION : JUST ALRIGHT. This is the movie you put in your BLU
RAY or DVD player and watched when you are bored out of your freaking mind. You
have exhausted all of your Netflix and Hulu options and now you feel like
watching something that you don’t have to pay too much attention to… because
if you do, you might as well just let a live raccoon loose in your house while
zombies are chasing you with hot frying pans. You don’t mind the mess maybe
once or twice…but after awhile you are thinking to yourself…why? Why? Why the
hot frying pans?

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